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Hyphenated Names

December 3, 2008 LMAO, Websites No Comments

Times when you don’t hyphenate your name…
Would you choose to be a Poore-Sapp or a Beaver-Wetter?

http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jul2007/HyphenatedNames.htm

Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom

December 2, 2008 Bizarre, LMAO No Comments

A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom – and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked.

The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in

Sheffield have had to remove from people’s backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.

Speaking of the vicar, A & E nurse Trudi Watson, of Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital, said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

“But it’s not for me to question his story. He had to undergo surgery to have it removed.”

She advised anyone tempted to use such objects in sex games to think again.

“It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening,” she said.

“Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result.”

A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: “Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents.

“But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way.”

My Forbidden Diary

Day 1

Today I was picked up after school by my stepmom and dad. I was a bit surprised, but they quickly explained that they were pulling me out of school for a few weeks to attend a special camp. While being a bit perplexed as to why my 3.5 gpa would require me to spend time in a special I found myself quickly reassured by what my stepmom described as the fun activities of canoing, rock climbing, and hiking. Ironic that before my dad married the bitch we did that sort of thing all the time.

I must have fell asleep at some point during the ride because as soon I opened my eyes I found two large looking fuckers staring at me through the window. I looked around and found my parents gone. The bigger of the two men pulled the door open and told me that I could either get out of the car on my own, or be pulled out. It didn’t take me long to make up my mind and I jumped over the back seat of the mini-van and locked the door.

Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!

http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212

Wal-Mart worker dies after shoppers knock him down

November 30, 2008 Bizarre No Comments

By COLLEEN LONG, The Associated Press
10:39 a.m. November 28, 2008

NEW YORK — A worker was killed in the crush Friday after a throng of shoppers eager for post-Thanksgiving bargains burst through the doors at a suburban Wal-Mart, authorities said.

At least four other people were injured, and the store in Valley Stream on Long Island was closed.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. in Bentonville, Ark., called the incident a “tragic situation” and said the employee came from a temporary agency and was doing maintenance work at the store.

“He was bum-rushed by 200 people,” co-worker Jimmy Overby, 43, told the Daily News. “They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too. … I literally had to fight people off my back.”

 

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