Nervous insight (by Appalachian freight rider)

Remember in $tr8 how you had to learn to anticipate your own emotional reactions to staff and the group or be submitted to their will ?? You had to be just that much quicker in order to strike pre-emptively, you know, talk about it in group and be able to demonstrate some measurable change or something, like you were struggeling with something but you were workin your program. And you had to play a poker face so hard that you lost your ability to be spontaneously emotional. You know like when everyone around you throws their head back in laughter but you, because you’ve become so objective or something, so concerned with monitoring your spontaneity in order to protect yourself from the mind-rapists. Every subtle psychological reaction had to be self monitored and controlled so as not to reveal any secret hidden places within the mind, sanctuaries of sanity, which were fiercely defended…the assault was so relentless and brutal, it was pretty much a psychological serial rape.