Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom

A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom – and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked.

The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in

Sheffield have had to remove from people’s backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.

Speaking of the vicar, A & E nurse Trudi Watson, of Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital, said: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

“But it’s not for me to question his story. He had to undergo surgery to have it removed.”

She advised anyone tempted to use such objects in sex games to think again.

“It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening,” she said.

“Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result.”

A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: “Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents.

“But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way.”

Women DON’T want to bother with foreplay.

Do you stay the course? In opposition to the general consensus women take more pleasure from intercourse than foreplay, a new survey has found.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1089622/Women-DONT-want-bother-foreplay-says-shock-new-study.html

Wonder Glen

The Wonder Glen website gives visitors a peek behind the (dysfunctional) scenes at a (fictional) “film, television, and new-media company,” where the backstabbing, quibbling, rumors, and failed attempts at “growing” team spirit are hilariously familiar.

Think of the multifaceted, superdetailed send-up of corporate culture as a smart, funny adjunct to the deadpan satires we’ve come to expect from people like Christopher Guest and Ricky Gervais. But we’ll let you in on a secret: Half the fun consists of trying to figure out who the site’s actual authors and owners are. (Yes, we know — but, irritatingly, we’ve been sworn to secrecy.)

www.wonderglen.com

Source: http://www.veryshortlist.com

How ants decongest

As every commuter knows, the shortest path between two points isn’t always the best or fastest route to a destination. Now we’ve learned that ants know it too.

A recent experiment found that ants used “swarm intelligence” to redirect traffic when a route between two points got clogged: Ants headed toward a food source would take the shortest possible route. But when they met oncoming traffic upon returning (thus suffering what the researchers called “repulsive interactions”), they sent chemical signals to ants headed in the direction they’d just come from. Some of those oncoming ants then detoured to a less-congested route, and traffic sped up.

We get a watered-down version of this from GPS units that incorporate traffic-report databases. But research suggests that if those GPS units fed data back into the databases, we too would grow collectively intelligent — and traffic jams would be a thing of the past.

Face the music

A Japanese man electrocutes himself, slowly, in front of his computer — and the results are more amusing than what you’d imagine.

First, artist-programmer Daito Manabe wrote a (rather catchy) song. Then he taped electrical wires to different muscles in his face and used them to administer shocks in accordance with the notes of that song. Each shock made him twitch, cringe, and flinch — and at first, watching “Electric Stimulus to Face — Test 3″ will make you do the same. Is it painful? “Yes,” Manabe says. “But not as much as you might think.” The whole affair looks and sounds like something Thom Yorke might have dreamed up for a Radiohead video — and like any given Radiohead song, it really gets going at around the minute mark.

Source: http://www.veryshortlist.com/web/daily.cfm/review/847/Web_video/electric-stimulus-to-face/?vp