Things not to do!

The following is intended as fucked up, deranged satire and should
not be taken seriously by anyone:

DON’T walk up to Virgil as he’s walking up the courthouse steps, say
“Remember me, asshole?” and shoot him several times with a .45

DON’T break into the homes of former Straight, Inc. executives, bind
them with hemp fiber, and spray them with pepper spray before igniting
the whole place.

DON’T kidnap some lame-ass ex-Catholic priest who still works in the
drug-treatment industry, dose him with 500+ mcgs of LSD, and subject
him to a confrontation “marathon” where his fingernails are removed
with rusty pliers.

DON’T castrate some fucked up ex-Group Staff Supervisor, using a rusty
razor blade and no anesthetic, leaving him to wallow in pain and shock
as you repeatedly kick him in the head.

DON’T spray lighter fluid all over an ex-Straight, Inc. Executive who
has started her own spin-off program, light it, and say “Tell me about
your feelings, bitch!” as you do multiple shots of 151, spitting out
every other one on her.

DON’T use a Taser on an ex-Executive Staff member who now works as an
educator right before you cover his head with a sack containing rabid
weasels.

These things would be wrong. DON’T DO THEM!!!

Arkansas judge tells parents to leave Tony Alamo compound to regain custody of seized children

An Arkansas judge has told parents of two teenage girls taken from a religious compound run by Tony Alamo that the children can be returned to their parents if the parents agree to leave the compound and secure financial independence away from the controversial “Tony Alamo Christian Ministries” organization. The two girls, ages 16 and 14, were removed from the compound along with four other girls in a September 20 raid conducted by state, federal law enforcement officials and FBI. Authorities raided the compound while investigating allegations of physical abuse and child sexual abuse.

The controversial evangelist leader of the organization, Tony Alamo, 74, was himself arrested on September 25 in Flagstaff, Arizona on charges of sexually abusing children and allegedly transporting a young girl across state lines in order to commit sexual acts with her – a violation of the Mann Act. He waived extradition from Arizona to Arkansas. Alamo has previously been convicted on charges of tax evasion. He was born as Bernie Hoffmann, and started the Tony and Susan Alamo Christian Foundation in 1969 with his wife Susan.

Miller Newton touched my junk liberally

Miller Newton touched my junk liberally. He strapped me in to his Straight-mobile and he couldn’t keep his offensive hands off of me. He was performing many red flag touches. I couldn’t believe what the fuck was going on.

I told Miller Newton the city would not approve of a millionaire touching an underage kid for free. Can you believe it? Miller Newton did all this. He picked me off the street, strapped my arms and legs down in the Straight-mobile’s passenger seat, and just wouldn’t stop fondling my cock’n'balls. They definitely were red flag touches. The goddamn referee he had in the back seat kept on raising up this red flag every time he touched my junk but did “Dr.” Newton care? NO WAY! He just kept on doing it.

I couldn’t believe what the fuck was going on, indeed. I pleaded with Miller Newton but to no avail. I told him the city would not approve of such a wealthy man touching an underage kid like me (at the time I was 13) without at least compensating me for the trauma and the use of my body as his own personal plaything. This got to him, worrying about his image.

He continued to fondle me, all the while ignoring the referee’s red flags. Then he drove the Straight-mobile to my house and ejected the seat I was in! It was amazing. But surprisingly, after I woke up the next morning, my bank account had $150k in it!!! Can you believe it?

Obama Drug Czar Pick: No Recovery from War on Drugs?

By: Maia Szalavitz

On paper, Jim Ramstad — who is rumored to be Obama’s choice for drug czar — looks like the ideal man for the job . He’s a recovering alcoholic himself and a Congressman who championed legislation recently passed to provide equal insurance coverage for addictions and other mental illnesses.

To top it off, he’s a Republican, giving Obama what looks like a relatively harmless way to make his cabinet more bipartisan. Choosing Ramstad would appear to make a powerful statement about addiction as a medical, not a moral issue.

Unfortunately, Ramstad may be a drug warrior in recovering person’s clothing. There is one issue that has consistently separated those who put science and saving lives in front of politics. That is needle exchange programs for addicts to prevent the spread of HIV and other blood borne illnesses.

How did the marijuana gateway myth get started?

First, there is no drug that will magically give you a craving for other drugs you have never had. That is a belief in witchcraft, not science.

Hemp was George Washington’s primary crop, and a secondary crop for Thomas Jefferson, so hemp has been around in America for a long time, without apparently causing much destruction in society. Each sailing ship carried several tons of hemp in its rope and sails, so cultivation of hemp was a major industry. Even though cannabis was widely grown, there were no allegations that it led to harder drugs.

In 1910, they believed that the certain steppingstone to opiate addiction was “eating Mexicanized food”. The fundamental idea comes from America’s puritanical history. It is the idea that pleasure is sinful, and small pleasures lead to cravings for larger pleasures. In this example, those who crave spicy food will inevitably crave larger pleasures, such as opium.